Was I meant to do this...really?

Okay, so the past few days I've been so bored at my job. I know, everyone gets bored with their job, but I know that I'm smarter and more creative than what this job requires me to be-that being said, I know I also have a great job. It is low stress, and I can work from home two days a week at my own pace, as long as I get the job done and my deadlines are met. Still, I feel like I have some higher purpose for my life that I'm missing. I don't know what it is, but I just feel like I'm letting life pass me by, and it's going all too quickly. Maybe I'm feeling this way because everything at work is so busy right now, that even when I get home, my "free-time" has to be devoted to work. I wouldn't mind this if I felt like what I do was making a difference in the world, but that is not how I feel. I always assumed that working in a non-profit enviroment would be so rewarding, but I just don't feel that way at all.

To be perfectly honest about this whole "life" issue I've been dealing with, it's really more than just work related. I'm surrounded by successful and talented friends. I know, everyone thinks that about their friends, but I'm serious. One of my best friends is a fashion designer that lives in NYC , trains for marathons, and makes wedding cakes in her spare time. The girl has no end to what she can do-and I'm proud that she calls me her friend. Another one of my best friends is so smart, and works in the science field. I feel like she knows everything about anything, and just had a new baby. She makes the new baby thing look so easy-though I know that she doesn't feel it's easy. Finally, another one of my friends is a scrapbook genius. She's witty, and a great writer, too. Friend #3 is a very crafty person-I think she's probably wonderful at any craft that's out there. These are just a few examples of my talented friends-I'm not going to go through the whole list, but you get the idea. I look at my life, and wonder, what am I doing? Am I really living life to it's fullest or am I just letting it all go by? I just don't want to wake up one morning and all of a sudden realize that the best years of my life have pasted me by, and I have nothing to show for it.

{By the way, I know I have comparison issues-always have, and always will. That's a whole separate post-believe me, my therapist could tell you.}

I went to a work lunch the other day (and maybe this is what has promped all of these "deep thoughts"), and one of my superiors asked me what I like to do in my spare time. Now, this is the first time I was meeting this person, so I was prepared for her to ask this question...sort of. When the question finally came out, and my answer was stated out loud, I felt....sad. There wasn't really much said on my part. It was something like, "I have a two year old son, and I like taking care of him. When I'm not pregnant I run in my spare time." That was about it. I mean really, "I like taking care of my kid"-who doesn't? Plus, it's a requirement. I'm sure I left this woman with a memorable impression. I've never ever in my life been good at answering the "what are your dreams?" "what are your talents?" "what makes you unique?" type of questions.

So, since I realize this is an issue for me, the next step is-how do I deal with it? I'm dumb founded. I have no idea. I'm trying though. I guess that's my approach so far, just get out there and try some things. Maybe I will discover some hidden talent or passion that I just haven't stumbled upon. I'm signed up to take a few classes, so hopefully something fruitful will come of it.