Okay, the words in the title are lyrics from the song "I've Got My Mind Set on You," a George Harrison song that I got stuck in my head while thinking about writing this post. The actual topic of this post is centered around this article called "The Busy Trap." The ToT group was supposed to read this article and then contemplate the following questions: Are you guilty? Do you have many self-imposed obligations making you too busy to enjoy life? And if you have kids, what about your kids? Do they have activities that keep them busy? Are you okay with being too busy or would you like to let go of some of those self-imposed tasks?
It's taken me a while to get around to reading this whole article. I read the first paragraph a while back and really stewed on what it had to say. My first impression was, "no, I'm not a brain surgeon or emergency personnel, but that doesn't mean I'm not busy. I'm a stay at home mom. My life is the very definition of being busy. I pull 24 hour shifts every day. I wipe dirty bottoms and noses. I was the dishes. I do the laundry. I cook the meals. I do the grocery shopping. I play games, I read stories, I'm the quarterback, the catcher, and the pitcher, I am the art teacher, the dance coordinator, and the music instructor: I'm the Mom.* Of course I'm busy." Then, I was able to finish reading the article, and the chip that was building on my shoulder melted away. I get it. We are all busy, but should we be so busy? Are we busy doing important things, or are we busy so that we can say we are busy for the sake of not being viewed as lazy?
I think at times I can consider myself being guilty of trying to stay busy for the sake saving myself from going insane with boredom. It's amazing how we can train ourselves to think that if we slow down for a few moments, we aren't truly accomplishing anything. I don't think that's fair. I know I'm guilty of feeling this way. I feel this everyday after the morning rush is over, and I've put my son on the school bus. I've cleaned up the kitchen from the mess of the morning, and look at my two year old daughter, and think...hmmm...now what? Of course she's happy to do anything. She would play her "Chuggington Matching Game" (a memory card game) all day long if I let her. She loves that game, and would be content just to spend time with me playing this game all day long. I on the other hand start to get a little fidgety after the second game as I start to go through my "to-do list" for the day. I start to think about all of the other things I should be doing. I'm also guilty of using any free moment that I have to do something for my kids, or for the house in general-such as washing dishes or doing laundry during nap time. I've really had to let those things go, and give myself a little mental pep talk that I just need to use those few precious "Mommy moments" to do something for myself-like take a nap, or read a book. It's something that I work on each day. Balance is an important thing.
I really have had to learn how to say no, and to try to keep myself from volunteering for every little thing that pops up at my kids' schools or at church. I think I feel the need to volunteer for things to feel important. I want to feel like I'm contributing to something outside of the house. Since my husband travels a lot, I only really get to volunteer for things when he's home, and that means I miss out on what may be important family time. Family time is a hot commodity at our house. I have to really try to balance my commitments outside of the home with the importance of family time.
Do I have activities that keep my kids busy. Yes, sometimes, but like this author, I really believe in unstructured play time. I used to constantly worry myself with, "what are we going to do? What should we do now? Should I make a schedule of activities? Should I plan out some crafts? " I had these concerns a lot more before my daughter was born and it was only my son and I at home. Now that I have two kiddos, and they are old enough-they play together. They use their imaginations all the time. They learn how to work through conflicts, and how to enjoy the alone time they get for themselves as well. My husband and I do put them in activities outside of the home that they enjoy, but I also limit those activities to avoid burn out, and over-tiredness.
I think over all, I'm happy with the balance of activities and down time we have in our life. I know that it is something I will always strive to maintain. I think it's important to have structure, but not so much that we forget to sit back, relax, and actually enjoy the fruits of our labor and this world we live in.
*I just have to add that I have a wonderful, supportive husband, so fortunately for me, I do not have to do this all alone. He shares in everything. Thank God.
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