ToT: Soapbox

This is a catch-up post from September.  The topic for the week was "Soapbox Time." What is the issue that stirs your heart or gets you all riled up? What is your personal project or cause? How does this affect your daily life? How do you try to make a difference?

Being the non-confrontational person that I am, I don't really have any issues that get me all riled up.  Sure, I have things that I believe in, and I have causes that I donate to or support through various charitable events.  I don't really partake in political debates among my friends and family.  I have my own opinions and being the introvert that I am, I tend to keep them to myself.  Although, I don't think introvert is the correct term these days, it's something more like, intrapersonal.  Anyhow, I really had to kind of rethink this topic to try to find what stirs my heart that I do really express in conversation among my family and friends. Only a couple of things stand out.

First, as a first time mom of a newborn baby, I found that I was always second guessing myself as to how to properly care for my child to make sure that he was content and thriving.  I mean, they are babies, and they can't really tell you what they need other than to cry.  My son cried all of the time. He was colicky. I read so many baby books, and tried so many different things to try to find out what was bothering him that eventually I was doubting everything and everyone. Even the doctors.  I had to just let go of all of the "parenting wisdom" I was absorbing through the Internet, doctors, and parenting books, and figure out what worked for me and my son.  It was really hard, but it once I did that, life was a lot easier.  The big issue for us was breast feeding.  He went straight to the NICU after he was born, and did not have a sucking reflex.  They had to really work with him and the bottle to get him to take in what little breast milk I had and formula.  I had an infection from the meconium, and could not go to the NICU to visit him. Needless to say, I tried and tried to get the breastfeeding to work out.  I received so many guilt trips from lactation consultants that it was ridiculous.  Finally, I threw in the towel and said, enough.  It was one of the best decisions that I made, and I think he is still a healthy and strong child despite having had formula. So, from that day on, whenever one of my friends comes to me in tears (oh, and we all do this as mothers) about some issue with their child that they are frustrated about because they are trying to do something by the book and it's not working, I always say, "you have to do what works best for you." Who cares if you have a weird sleeping routine or schedule.  Who cares if you don't have a schedule at all? Who cares if your kid only eats meat sticks? So what, if your two year old still uses a sippy cup? Who cares if your child is in the 5th percentile? Are they thriving? Are they healthy? Are they following their own growth curve? Then that's okay.  Sometimes as moms, we have to listen to our "mom tuition" and do what is best for us and our child.  "You do what works for you, no matter what other people may think."

The second thing that really gets me is people that always have to be right or prove other people wrong.  I'm not talking about political, scientific, or grand errors regarding important facts. I'm talking about people that have to correct tiny little incorrect statements that no one would have paid any attention to, just to make the other person feel like an idiot.  Let me set the scenario.   You are talking with a bunch of friends, and you happen to misspeak and say something like, "Oh, that is so funny, you know I once had an apple that was really orange."  Well, in jumps the one upper that has to point out, that there is in fact no such thing as an orange apple. They may say something really snarky like, "Well, she really meant that she once had a yellow apple, but we all knew that's what she was talking about because of course, there are no such things as orange apples."  Seriously? If everyone already knew that, then why even say anything? Do you feel better now that you just made me look like a big dummy because I made one small mistake? Do you feel better that you are right? Do you ya? Huh? Why can't people just let things go? It's not as if we are arguing if the world is flat or round.  This is not going to change the course of history. Just let it go. Sometimes proving someone is wrong, or correcting them in the middle of a funny story or conversation can  just make you look like the jerk instead.  Just a personal pet peeve of mine. Geesh. Now I'm all riled up.

PS-I went out to dinner with friends tonight, and one of my friends admitted she is always doing this sort of thing.  By the way, I've known her most of my life, so this was not news to me. When she corrects people it's usually over some kind of scientific fact or something. She does have to be right, but it's not over something silly like the color of an apple. So, no, I was not singling her out . :)